Hex
by pinkcat4569
Summary: Short, silly Halloween fun. Someone's been working black magic and the team aren't quite the same because of it... Series 4,5 Characters
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hex, Chapter One

Author: Pinkcat4569

Rating: G

Description: Silly Halloween fun! Someone's been working black magic and the team aren't quite the same because of it...

Characters: Season 4-5, set after (Connor/Abby married.) Is a Jess/Becker angle, but no relationship yet.

Author's note: I mean no offense. I am not intending this to reflect a knowledge of any witchcraft or practices. I'm not sure exactly what a hex is, other than some type of spell. Also, the one who cast it is clearly evil, not meant to represent a true practitioner of any faith. This is just for fun. Also, it is not related to any other story.

1637 words, this chapter. Total words, 5505

Hex, Chapter One

Lester frowned. "I realize this looks bad," he said to the man in the even more conservative suit than he. "However, there are other things at work..."

The inspector rudely held up his hand. "Stop. I've seen enough. Our dollars are horribly misused at this...I hesitate to call it a facility. It's a freak show."

"Inspector Fife, that's not fair," said Lester.

Fife laughed in his face. "Let's take another look at your core team shall we? They hardly resemble the trained professionals you gloated about."

"As I said, they are not at their best and it's not their fault."

"No, it's yours."

"Actually, it's the witch," said a voice behind him.

The inspector rolled his eyes. "This from your top scientist. 'He's a genius,' you said."

"Did you? Aw. Thank you very much, Lester."

"Pretend you didn't hear that Connor. I plan to. Mr. Temple is very...what's the word? Unconventional in some of his theories."

"He believes in witches."

"I do, witches, zombies, aliens, time jumps and all the other sci-fi junk. I used to love it all, but now it seems kind of nerdy. Stupid curse. I hope I get back to my normal fantasy and sci-fi loving self. And soon."

Lester groaned. "Don't help me. Please."

Fife shook his head. "And if I ask him to explain how his anomaly-creating device works he says..."

Connor sighed. "I have no idea."

Fife laughed derisively.

"Right now, I have no idea. It's not my fault! And as soon as we break the witch's hex I'll know exactly how all my inventions work. I will. Promise."

Lester frowned.

Inspector Fife shook his head. "Fraudulent. Incompetent. Gross misuser of funds. Horrible leader..."

"What's he doing?" asked Connor.

"Oh, just relating all the words he'll use to describe me at my dismissal hearing."

"That's ridiculous," said Abby. "Lester is a fine leader. And we're all damn good at our jobs."

"Really? You run the menagerie," he said. He smiled a sick grin. "Go get one of your smaller, less lethal creatures and bring it to me, if you would."

Abby's face fell. "I...I can't."

"Why ever not?" he asked, feigning light-hearted ignorance.

Abby sighed. "Because right now the sight of any creature fills me with disgust and terror."

Fife laughed. "She's your best. I shudder to think who works under her."

Abby leveled a steady glare at him. "Don't. My staff is the best. My...condition does not reflect upon them."

Lester smiled.

Fife didn't seem impressed. "And your team leader? I haven't had the opportunity to meet him because as soon as we were introduced he hid under your desk!"

At that instant a loud whimpering filled Lester's office. "Please, get up," Lester said, slightly kicking Matt.

"No! Make him go away!" cried the Irishman

"Why on earth did you pick this coward to lead your main team?"

"Matt's no coward," said Abby.

"He's not usually like this," said Connor.

"No, none of you are usually like this," said Fife, sneering. He sighed. "Lester, this meeting is done and so is your position and your so called institution unless I meet the other members of the team. Now."

"Oh, boy," said Connor.

Lester straightened his tie. "Why not? Might as well have all the ammunition when you fire me."

"Funny," said Abby.

"Come on, they're right outside in Ops." Lester led the way, followed by Fife, Connor, and Abby. Matt continued to cry underneath Lester's desk.

"OK, people," said Lester. "Let's get this over with. Front and center. We'll start with Becker."

Becker walked briskly up to Fife and saluted. "Sir."

Fife's eyebrow went up. "This is more like it. You're the military leader of the ARC."

"I am."

"You've seen action?"

"Yes, sir."

The inspector smiled. "I've heard a lot about these new weapons. Since their inventor, your team leader is...indisposed...I want you to show them to me. Take me to the armory."

Becker winced. "That won't be possible..."

The inspector cut him off. "Why? Doesn't anything work in this place?"

"Oh, the weapons work fine and my second here is ready to demonstrate them to you." He motioned to another fit body in a black uniform. He held a small EMD.

"No! I ordered you!" cried Fife.

Becker sighed and looked at Lester. "Tell him," said the director.

"Yes, Captain, tell me."

Becker turned red and looked like he'd rather undergo torture. "I...um...seem to have lost..."

"Lost what?"

"My taste...for weaponry."

"Excuse me?"

Becker summoned his courage and looked directly at the inspector. "I can't fire a weapon, Sir. I can't even hold one."

Fife sighed. "I don't suppose you are all playing a prank, are you?"

Everyone looked away. "I didn't think so," said Fife. He walked over to the Lieutenant who let him take and examine the EMD. "This is the small version, hey? It doesn't create as big a charge?"

The second in command shook his head. Fife nodded. Suddenly he smiled, turned, and tossed the EMD to Becker.

The captain made a very un-Becker-like scream and dropped the thing like it was red hot.

Then he fainted.

Lester moaned and tried to massage the tension away from his own forehead.

"This place is going to be torn down brick by insane brick!"

"You can't do that!" cried Abby.

"You are overreacting," said Lester.

"Just let us break the Hex first."

The inspector stared at Connor, ready to say something snide. But behind Connor he saw a young woman. "As if you don't have enough problems. Women should not show that much leg or...cleavage. It's disrespectful." He scoffed. "My...acquaintances here at the ARC warned me about your field coordinator."

Lester glared at him. "Your spies. How dare they! First, my field coordinator is the best in her field. It's wrong to judge her on appearance. Secondly, I am not the fashion police. My employees may wear whatever they like as long as all sensitive areas are covered. If you see vulgarity, than you are looking for it."

The inspector rudely laughed. "People should reflect their competency. Look at her, even she's embarrassed with what she wears."

The woman blushed and moved closer to Lester. "I apologize."

"Nonsense," he said. "You're attire is fine."

She shook her head. "I did try to resist the...urge." She hung her head.

He smiled kindly at her and removed his suit coat, draping it over her. "It's not your fault. We'll get this all sorted."

She smiled weakly at him.

"I'd say your field coordinator is at odds with her own image."

Lester turned back to the inspector. "My field coordinator is very confident in her ability and her image. She is quite formidable. However, it just so happens that this is in fact, not my field coordinator. May I introduce Miss Emily Merchant?"

The inspector stared at him in disbelief. "I was under the impression that Emily Merchant had been transplanted here by an anomaly. My information stated she was a Victorian."

"I am."

"But..."

Abby burst out yelling, "We've been trying to tell you! No one is acting normally! It's part of life here at the ARC!"

At that, Lester laughed. "Very true."

"We're all under a hex of um, what's the word?" asked Connor.

Fife laughed.

Abby smiled compassionately at Connor. "Opposites."

"Right," said Connor. "The witch put a hex on us to turn us opposite to our own nature so we'd hate what we do and who we are. Kind of vindictive and smart, actually. If this continues we may in fact stop chasing those yellow flashing light things and the beasties that come out."

Lester groaned. "Try to sound more professional, Connor."

"Sorry. Anyway, the point I'm making is this isn't us. Abby here loves the creatures, I promise you."

She blushed and smiled. "Thank you Connor."

He nodded. "Matt is brave and as a leader he's uh...uh..oh! Competent!"

Fife shook his head. "He can't even remember words!"

Abby glared at him.

Connor continued, "Becker's in love with his bloody guns."

"Despite being out cold from holding one," said Fife.

"Please stop interrupting him," said Abby sweetly. Lester smiled. "Go on, Connor," she said.

He looked blankly at her. "What I was saying?"

Fife burst out with a sneering laugh.

"You were describing the team," Abby said. "Emily is next."

"Right!" Connor glanced at Emily wearing one of Jess' bright orange ensembles under Lester's coat. She self-consciously pulled the coat tighter. "She never shows this much skin, she's modest. And for a Victorian, she's pretty, um, oh...lethal. She's learned to survive."

"I am not quite as civil as I once was, no matter how docile I now appear." She looked at Becker and smirked. "I'd probably even obey one of his orders now."

Lester laughed. "I wouldn't go that far. Some of their behavior has changed, without a doubt. Certain core characteristics are in tact. Abby and Connor are still a devoted pair. Becker, despite the incident with the gun, remained a loyal, trustworthy leader of his men."

"Even in this condition," continued Lester, "They are dedicated to me, each other, and this facility. As for Miss Merchant, she is still in control, practical and cautious. Inspector Fife, you should thank her for not answering your insults with a well placed elbow to your throat."

Emily grinned bashfully. "He is correct, actually."

Fife sighed. "Are you all quite finished with this gushing?"

"No," said Abby. "Connor?"

"What?"

She smiled patiently. "You forgot to describe yourself."

He smiled. "Oh, I'm a genius. Promise."

End of Chapter One


	2. Chapter 2

1874 words, this chapter

Hex, Chapter Two

Fife stared at him as a soft waft of laughter echoed. They turned to see another young woman, this one wearing a long sleeved, high collar blouse in ivory with a dark gray pair of slacks. Her long brown hair was pulled into a tight bun. She was leaning over Becker, still passed out on the floor. "You tell him, Connor," she said.

Lester cleared his throat. "I knew we forgot someone. I do apologize. Allow me to introduce my brilliantly efficient and formidable field coordinator, Miss Jess Parker. She's displaying a new fashion style, as you can see."

"Against my will! I swear I miss my skirts and heels but I just can't seem to stomach them at the moment. It's very disturbing! Ahem," she said, pausing. She blushed. "Sorry. I ramble. Hello."

"You're the field coordinator..."

"Yes," she said, her hands cradling Becker's head, "but there's no point asking me about the ADD thingy because right now..."

"I know, I know. You've been 'hexed' and you have no idea how to do your job."

"Nope," she said, putting Becker's head gently into her lap. "But don't worry, Epstein wasn't with us when we raided that horrible lady who collected all those creatures to use in her ghastly spells. He's fine. Aren't you?"

She turned to a young man with dark hair sitting at the ADD. He smiled quickly to her then turned back to the ADD.

"All of our jobs are currently being handled," said Abby. "The ARC is in no danger."

"Then who needs you?" asked the inspector.

Lester sighed again. "I'm losing patience with you, Sir. This is still my facility and you will treat my staff with respect."

The inspector broke into rude laughter. "You're funny, James. They are disgraceful."

Connor had been watching Jess lovingly stroke Becker's face. "You know, it's interesting how some of our normal behavior hasn't changed." He winked at her.

She blushed but chuckled. "Shut up," she said, rather bashfully.

"Oh, good, you have employee fraternization, as well," said Fife.

"Well, duh," said Connor, "Abby and I are married."

Lester grabbed his face in his hands. "Since I'm about to be sacked anyway, I'm going to partake in a little on the job drinking. Anyone else want a brandy?"

"I do!"

"Jess, you only drink wine coolers," said Abby.

"I do, don't I?" she asked.

Fife shook his head. "I hope you all have your resumes up to date."

Becker moaned and began to move. He opened his eyes and smiled. "Hi."

Jess giggled. "Hello."

"How did we get in this possession?"

"You were hexed, apparently," said Fife.

"No. They were heading along this path before the witch," said Emily, making Connor and Abby laugh, Lester smile, and the two on the floor blush. They didn't move though.

"How do you feel?" asked Jess.

"My head's buzzing and my stomach is flipping," Becker said, then added with a smirk, "or that could just be because your holding me."

Lester groaned. "Now is not the time or place, Captain."

Jess giggled. "I don't mind."

Becker smiled and chuckled.

Fife headed for Lester's office. "I'm taking temporary command," he said. "You can all consider yourselves on notice...'' he paused as he pulled out Lester's chair. "Get out from under there!"

"Oh, Emily, I forgot, would you please see if you can lure Matt out from under my desk?"

She nodded, and walked to the office, pulling at the short skirt.

"How much longer, Connor?" asked Lester.

"Til what?"

Lester sighed. "I regret every crude joke I made about your sometimes destructive intelligence. I wish you had it back."

"Yeah, me too."

"Connor," said Abby, "you have some of your mates looking into hex reversals, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

There was a pause. "Well? Have they contacted you?"

"I dunno."

"Connor, mind on the job," snapped Lester.

"Me? What about them?" he asked, pointing to Becker and Jess. "They're not even in the same world as us!"

"True. Miss Parker, the Captain is awake now. Perhaps you two should act more...professional."

"Mind your own business," said the Captain.

"I'll get you for insubordination later. If I'm still you're superior, that is."

They were interrupted by crying and whimpering as a shaking Matt was led into Ops by Emily. He was clinging to her like a terrified child. "You...you...aren't going to make that w...w...witch angrier, are you?"

Lester rolled his eyes. "For God's sake Man, buck up."

"Lester, please," said Emily. "He is afflicted, as are the rest of us."

Lester sighed. "Obviously I've never given this...witchcraft...any sort of credence. However..." he said, pausing as he looked at his nearly unrecognizable crew.

"Heads up!" cried a female voice, running into Ops. "I'm sorry, Abby, but Rex has been so upset since you've been out of the menagerie..."

Suddenly a small green shape flew down, buzzing Abby. She screamed. "Get away!" She swatted at the poor creature.

Matt screamed, running for cover under another desk. Emily ran after him, kneeling as well as she could in the short skirt.

Abby stood, flailing about, trying to knock Rex out of the sky.

"Abby, stop!" yelled Connor, physically holding her arms still. Rex flew over to him, landing on his arm. "I'm sorry," he said to the dinosaur. "She doesn't mean it."

Abby shuddered. "Get...it...away...from me." Connor handed the sad dinosaur to Abby's aide. "Do your best to comfort him, huh?"

"I will. We're all trying, but we're not her. She's special. The creatures miss her. Sid and Nancy won't eat. The mammoth just moans. It's horrible."

Connor shook his head.

"Maybe if you stopped in later?" asked the aide.

Connor nodded. "I'll try. I might be able to cheer up Sid and Nancy and Rex, but some of the others, I don't think so."

"Oh, the poor mammoth," said Lester. "I'll drop in later too."

The aide nodded. "Good. He'll like that. Thank you, Sir." She smiled and Lester nodded. "We'll do what we can. I hope you get back to normal soon, Abby."

"Me too," said Connor.

"I hope we all do," said Abby solemnly. "I'm sorry, Iris. I'm proud of you and everyone."

The menagerie worker smiled. "It's not your fault, Abby. Don't worry, we'll keep them all safe and well."

Abby nodded, looking at Rex with a mixture of disgust and regret. Iris left carrying the pitiful little dinosaur who was still crying out for Abby.

The whole incident made Jess cry. "Everything is messed up."

Becker wiped a tear away. "Sh. It's OK, Jess. We'll be fine. Somehow we'll get us all back to normal."

She smiled. "Really?"

He nodded. "Definitely. I'm praying I get to see those gorgeous legs again. Soon."

She blushed and giggled. "I can't believe I'm wearing this Victorian approved outfit...and liking it."

"Me either, Jess," said Becker. "I'm being a bit selfish, but thank the Lord you and Emily got the fashion hex and not me. Can you imagine my troop's reaction if I stood in front of them in bright pink?"

Jess burst out laughing. "You did luck out, didn't you?"

Lester shook his head. His facility and well trained team seemed to be in shambles and yet some things hadn't changed. He looked at Becker and Jess and smiled.

Then he felt a bit of anger. Of all the aspects of their natures that stayed the same, it would be the attraction, even if they did seem less awkward about it, especially Becker. Wonderful.

"That's it. I need two scotches," said Lester.

"I thought it was brandy," said Jess, with a giggle.

"It was. I need it and the two scotches."

She nodded. "Me too please."

"You don't drink that stuff, Jess."

"I know, Becker. Connor already pointed that out."

Suddenly Ops was filled with the theme from Star Wars.

"What is that?" asked Connor.

"It's your ring-tone," said Abby.

He stared blankly at her.

"Your cell phone is ringing. Someone is calling you."

"Oh!" he cried, taking out his cell. "Hello? Oh, hey Duncan. Huh? You found a way to undo hexes and curses? Really, that's funny because we've all been cursed. You know? Oh, yeah, I did tell you."

Abby laughed and shook her head. "Conn, I love you, but maybe I should hear what Duncan has to say."

"Yeah, right," he said. "I'm having trouble following."

She patted his shoulder. "I know. You're doing your best." She took his phone. "OK. Yeah. Right. Wait." She held the phone away. "Someone needs to write this down. Jess, do you have a pen and paper?"

"Yeah," she said, "but I'll have to move." She looked into Becker's face. "I don't want to move."

"Oh good Grief," said Lester. "Where are they? I'll get them."

"In my bag, under my wallet and the chocolate," she said with a frown. "I've had that chocolate bar in there since this all happened."

"What?" asked Becker in alarm. "You haven't eaten it?"

She shook her head. "I...I don't want to."

Becker gasped.

Abby and Connor both looked at her.

"Are you telling us..." began Abby.

"That you haven't had the urge..." continued Connor.

"To eat chocolate?" asked Becker in that high-pitched, slightly panicked tone.

She hung her head and nodded. "It sounds gross to me now."

Lester turned when she said that. "We've got to get this sorted. Reality is starting to collapse."

Abby and Connor nodded.

Becker stared at Jess with disbelief. He patted her arm as a tear escaped down her lovely cheek.

"I'm scared, Becker."

"Actually...so am I." He pulled her down to him and held her.

"Don't panic," said Abby. "Duncan has a sort of spell that should put us all back to normal. Lester write this down." She dictated and he wrote.

"We need some spices and herbs," she said, "some candles, a bible, and...um..."

"What?" asked Becker.

"A lock of hair from each of us."

"OK, but be careful where you cut Becker's," said Jess. "It's too perfect."

Lester rolled his eyes.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Becker smirked. "Yep."

Jess blushed. "Funny how I don't seem to mind." She smiled.

He laughed. "Yeah. Me either. I was thinking the same thing about your hair." He reached up and actually stroked it.

"Good lord. Brandy, scotch, and a shot of whiskey," said Lester. "Try to control yourselves, you two. I don't want any...shenanigans...occurring on the floor."

The field coordinator and the Captain giggled.

"How do we do this while he's here?" asked Abby, gesturing to the inspector. "He's sure to run us out when he finds out what we're doing."

"We are about to perform a ritual of magic," said Emily seriously. "I would not blame him."

Abby laughed. "No, but we're desperate."

"We are," said Emily, still kneeling beside the desk, holding onto Matt's hand.

End of Chapter Two


	3. Chapter 3

1998 Words this chapter

Hex, Chapter Three, Conclusion

"Don't worry about Fife. I'll annoy...I mean stall him," said Lester. "Abby, go to the kitchens. They should have everything, even candles."

Abby nodded. "Come with me, Connor. Emily, will you get a small cutting of everyone's hair?"

Emily nodded. "I shall require a knife."

"No offense, Emily, but you're not coming near my head with a knife."

"Becker, don't be rude."

"He was not, Jess," said Emily, "He was being cautious and practical." She smiled. "I possess many skills with a knife, including the ability to scalp."

Becker actually gulped.

"Emily! Ew!" cried Jess, making the Victorian laugh. "Please, forget the knife. I have a small set of scissors in my nail kit in my locker."

Emily nodded. "I shall fetch it," she said, standing up.

Suddenly a hand shot out, grabbing her leg. "Don't leave me!"

"I must, but it is only for a short time..."

"No!"

"I do not wish to leave Matt in this condition."

"No..no," said Matt softly. "I'm sorry. I'm...Emily you must go. We need to get...back to normal."

"We do," said Emily. "However, I am still ill at ease."

"Maybe we can scoot over by him," said Jess.

Emily watched with amusement as the two of them, with Becker still in her lap, moved over to Matt's hiding place.

Jess reached out to take his hand.

"Aah! Who is that?"

"It's me, Jess."

"Oh...s-s-sorry. I'm OK now, Emily. Jess is here," he said.

"So is Becker," said Jess.

"Don't remind...me," said Matt with a moan.

Becker laughed. "Feeling a little...odd...are we, Matt?"

"Sh-shut up."

"I shall leave now, Matt. I will return but I must cut hair."

"O-ok. Hurry though."

Emily nodded, beginning to leave Ops.

"Don't worry, Matt. I'm right here."

"Thank you, Jess."

"But she's taken," said Becker.

Jess looked at him with surprise.

He turned pink. "I mean...um, your lap is taken. Matt can find his own. Oh, boy. I'm not well."

Jess giggled, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Neither am I, actually."

He smiled. "We'll get through this."

"Will we?" asked a shaky Matt.

"Yes," said Jess, still smiling at Becker.

"OK," said Matt, calming. He closed his eyes tightly.

"Poor Matt," said Jess.

"Yeah. It's really embarrassing." He smiled. "I wish I had my cell on me."

"Becker! Taking pictures of someone in a compromised state is wrong."

Emily was still inside Ops. She laughed. "You took some of the Captain when he was unconscious..."

"Emily! Hush! Go and get the scissors!"

Becker laughed. "Jessica! That was just wrong!"

Jess blushed. "Would you two focus? I want my skirts, heels, and cute tops back, not to mention my chocolate. Ew, that just does not sound appetizing."

"Emily, quick! Start cutting hair! Before she gets worse!" cried Becker.

Emily laughed and nodded, leaving.

"I want...those...pics, Jess."

"No way in hell Matt," said Becker. "You'd put them on the ARC bulletin."

Matt laughed weakly. "Feeling...odd, B-Becker?"

"Shut up."

"Boys, be nice."

After a few minutes, Connor and Abby returned with the potion ingredients. "OK, this is going to be weird," said Abby. "Where's Fife?"

"Who?"

Abby sighed. "The inspector, Connor."

"Oh, right." He looked around. "He's arguing with Lester. Oh, God! He just tried to take away Lester's brandy! That was dumb."

"As long as Lester has his attention," said Abby, mixing spices and herbs in a bow. "One opposite-reversal potion coming up."

"I have the scissors," said Emily.

"You're back," said a weak but relieved voice.

She smiled and bent beside Matt. "I am, as promised." She took the scissors and tried to snip his hair. "Matt, you must hold still."

Matt whimpered. "The scissors are sh-sharp, right?"

Becker laughed.

"Stop it!" cried Jess. "It's not his fault." She frowned. "Behave or I'll find a gun."

Becker gasped. "You're mean."

Matt laughed. "Thanks, Jess."

"Any time, Matt."

"I have Matt's hair."

"Thank goodness," he said. "Put those away, Em."

"I must collect hair from the others," she said. She moved away, making Matt whimper.

"Hold still, Jess," she said.

"Not there, Emily! I like how her hair hangs. No not there either!" cried Becker.

"Jess, you must cease your giggling."

Finally, the precious lock of Jess' hair was snipped.

"It's OK, I guess," said Becker. "I should shoot you for that, Emily."

"Then it is fortunate that you are...uneasy with fire arms at this moment."

Matt laughed.

"Everyone be nice," said Jess. "Emily! You'll ruin how his hair fluffs to the side if you cut it there! Let me."

Emily smirked as she gently caressed his hair, wincing as she cut a piece. "I'm so sorry," said Jess. "That's just a crime."

Becker laughed. "I'll survive."

"Let me do yours, Emily," Jess said.

"You are not seeking revenge, are you?"

Jess giggled. "No. There. You can hardly see where I cut it."

"Thank you. Now, I must cut some hair from Abby and Connor."

After she had the hair, she gave it to Abby. "Great," said Abby. "Everything is mixed. Now we have this ceremony to do." She looked back toward Lester's office.

Lester was coming out. "He finally threatened to call security," he said, laughing. "That was fun!"

The others shook their heads and laughed.

"At least I recovered my stash from 'his' office," he said, rolling his eyes and holding several bottles of liquor. "I don't have whiskey though." He poured himself several brandy and scotch drinks.

"Let's do this," said Abby. "We have to light a candle, then put in the hair and all of us have to hold hands while someone reads this prayer while holding a bible."

"Really?" asked Becker.

"Just be glad it didn't call for holy water, blessed from a priest," said Connor.

"Oh, I have some," said Lester.

They all stared at him.

"Seriously?" asked Becker.

He nodded. "Only it was blessed by a Bishop, not just a priest."

"Impressive," said Emily.

"Indeed," said Lester. He turned toward his office, saying loudly, "I'm a very influential person!"

"Don't draw his attention!" hissed Abby. "Gather around."

"I will bring Matt," said Emily.

"Jess, Becker, you'll have to get up," said Abby.

"Oh, but I'm comfy," whined Becker.

Jess giggled. "Me too."

"You wish to hold onto your fear of guns then, Captain?" asked Lester. "It seems like a bit of a hindrance to your career, but whatever."

Jess giggled. "He has a point."

Becker sighed. "Fine."

"It's a shame we can't stay like this," she said with a smile.

"Yeah." He gently caressed her cheek. He sighed. "Back to normal," he said, gently moving off her.

He slowly stood, moaning at the pain in his stiff joints. Then he helped Jess up.

Emily brought Matt over to them, hanging onto him so he wouldn't run.

"Connor light the candle. Wait, not you. I don't trust you with matches. Sorry. Becker, you do it. Jess, you read this prayer while holding the Bible. I'll put the hair in the potion."

Lester sat a few feet away. "My future professional success depends on this bizarre ceremony. Lovely."

The candle was lit and the hair dropped in with the other ingredients. "Now we hold hands," said Abby.

"No! Don't touch me! This is too scary!" Matt cried, trying to get free from Emily's grip.

"Matt, you must stop this," she said, fighting to hold on.

"I've got him," said Becker holding tightly to his other hand.

"Jess, read," said Abby.

She nodded, starting the prayer. Matt continued to struggle as Becker and Emily fought to hold on. Abby looked warily at Lester's office, but the Inspector was occupied with Lester's computer.

Jess read.

"Rather long, wordy prayer," noted Lester. "Can't it just say, 'turn us back, thanks awfully, amen?"

Abby frowned at him. Jess kept reading but sent him a glare.

"Sorry," he said.

Finally Jess came to the end. "In the name of the father. We humbly ask Him to return us to our rightful states with His blessing."

The lights flickered and there was a sudden breeze that swirled around each of them. Then the candle blew out.

"That was freaky," said Becker.

"Indeed," agreed Lester. "Did it work?"

They stood still and silent. Then...

"Let go of my hand, Becker," said Matt. "Now."

"Are you done crying?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but if you don't let go I'll shoot again with an EMD."

Becker laughed and let go.

"Oh my God! Where the heck is that chocolate bar?" asked Jess running over to her station, grabbing her bag, dumping out everything and searching frantically for the bar, ripping it open and cramming it into her mouth. She sunk onto the floor, sighing with relief as she chewed.

"Better?" asked Becker with a smirk.

She nodded, still chewing. "I'm going...to have...to leave soon," she said, still chewing, "to get...more. Lots more."

Abby suddenly gasped. "Rexy!" she cried, running out of Ops. "Sid, Nancy...guys...I'm coming!"

"Jess, will you change clothes with me?"

"Yes! I need mine back!"

"Indeed, as do I."

"You know, they look smaller on you, I guess because you're taller."

"I appreciate you not mentioning that before."

"I'm not stupid, Em," she said as they left. "I didn't want you to hurt me."

Becker laughed.

"Why are you so happy? We're all about to be canned," said his boss.

"Connor, go blab about one of your inventions to the stiff," said Becker.

"Yes! Good idea," said Lester, pushing Connor to the office. "That is...if you know how one works."

"Lester, that hurts. Of course I do! I know how they all work! It's really easy once you understand the basic mechanics of an anomaly..."

"Not yet! Wait until you're in front of the inspector!"

Matt sighed. "Epstein, how's the ARC? Are all creatures secure? What about recent anomaly activity, did we miss any incursions? I need data, now!"

Becker laughed. It was all getting back to normal. Except...

Jess walked briskly into Ops. She felt so much better in her own colorful, stylish clothes. Her legs were free and her heels got her up to a somewhat workable height. Plus, of course, she missed the stares and almost subtle looks from a certain security man. Where was he?

She neared the ADD. "I'll take over now, Epstein. You've been an angel, covering for me," she said. Then she heard a zap.

"Becker!" she cried, seeing the inspector lying on Lester's office floor.

He smiled smugly. "I needed to shoot someone. Badly."

"In has defense, Fife did ask to see an EMD in action," said Lester.

Becker chuckled. "And now he has, intimately."

Jess shook her head. "He'll really fire us all now. And do you have to...caress that thing?"

"Yes. I do. It's not as good as an assault rifle, though, but it shoots," he said, lovingly patting the EMD, "and that's all that really matters. I do miss the aroma of gunpowder however."

Jess rolled her eyes. "You're disturbing."

He chuckled.

"I shouldn't worry about the inspector's wrath, Jess," said Lester. "I have a feeling we'll be keeping our positions," he said, stepping over Fife's body, "once his superiors discover he's been sleeping on the job. Now, to change my password and order more booze." He pulled out his chair, quickly checking under the desk. He smiled. It was unoccupied.

"And if that doesn't work, we can always hex him."

"Connor!"

The End


End file.
